clientsfromhell:

Client: “I really liked your proposal, but I thought about it overnight and I feel that getting a website is really a last resort.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Client: “Like if someone’s business is failing, they would want to advertise and maybe get a website. But since my business is fine, I don’t want to send that sort of message to my customers.”

177 notes

clientsfromhell:

Client: “My friend says that he has a website that runs regardless of whether or not the internet is working.”

Me: “No he doesn’t.”

Client: “Are you calling my friend Kenneth a liar?”

Me: “No, just that maybe Kenneth has been… misguided.”

Client: “Maybe. He DID send a lot of money to that Nigerian prince a while ago.”

618 notes

clientsfromhell:

Client: “Can you take the Facebook logo off? I think it violates the integrity of the product. It should only show my logo. I also want to change the page colour to red, like my site, and take that dumb top row off.”

Me: “But—”

Client: “Let me finish before you start, so you can ask all of…

576 notes

Can’t teach an old dog-groomer new tricks

clientsfromhell:

Client: “I want this marketing campaign we ran in the 80’s as our homepage. One of our old groomers drew it up. It’s kooky and retro.”

 Me: “Oh!… Uh….Oh, I can’t put this up.”

Client: “Why not? Is it because it has a Chinaman on it?”

Me: “A Chinese man. A caricature of a Chinese man chasing a dog with a knife and fork, yelling ‘ME SORRY’…”

Client: “Are we not still laughing at that stuff?”

644 notes

clientsfromhell:

Client: “I want the website to be, like, 50% ads. And the rest will be content.”

Me: “The website is for your restaurant. It already IS an ad, in and of itself!”

Client: “You just don’t know much about business, do you.”

300 notes

No! Don’t use pixels! Pixels make everything bigger. Just use inches like a normal person.

641 notes

clientsfromhell:

Client: “Okay, I’ve totalled everything and I’ve come up with $543,698— double check my math.”

Me: “…I got $562,552”

Client: “That’s wrong. Do it again.”

Me: (adding all of the numbers again) “Okay, $562,552”

Client: “What? Now we have three different numbers!”

Me: “No we don’t. That’s…

453 notes

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

99,437 notes

  • Beyoncé: constantly spreads messages of female empowerment, independence, and sexual liberation through her music
  • Beyoncé: makes a song about body confidence and gets "Bootylicious" added to the Oxford dictionary
  • Beyoncé: raises thousands of dollars through Chime For Change, an organization she co-founded to support of female equality and education
  • Beyoncé: donates $500,000 dollars to said organization
  • Beyoncé: makes a name for herself as one of the top performing talents of all time and became Forbes' 2014 most powerful celebrity and one of the highest-paid black musicians of all time
  • Beyoncé: names her world tour after her husband
  • White feminists: BEYONCÉ IS ANTI-FEMINIST AND A TERRORIST SHE IS A SHAME TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE SHE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

11,759 notes

crabbyjammies:

gymnosofi:

mypatientvessel:

Dude.

My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.

Dude. It’s genius.

http://www.2lovemylips.co.uk/

I saw this before and didn’t reblog it because it didn’t have anything to say how but now that there is a link saying how I wil reblog it.

595,910 notes