reshiham:

yifflord:

reshiham:

why cant your nose be 12 inches long?

because then it’ll be a foot

image

(Source: greatjaggi)

447,988 notes

hostel, Cardiff, Wales

(Source: photosoftravels)

27 notes

fuckitandmovetobritain:

Invermoriston, Loch Ness, Scottish Highlands, Scotland, UK

fuckitandmovetobritain:

Invermoriston, Loch Ness, Scottish Highlands, Scotland, UK

60 notes

leinabby808:

anus:

the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up

deep thoughts from an anus

(Source: anus)

1,535,311 notes

whorville:

Cannibals may seem nice but they’re just trying to butter you up

83,768 notes

badluckchick:

I live in a really bad neighborhood and my friend came over and we heard gun shots and she was like “ooh fireworks” and I just smiled and nodded.

203,336 notes

Diary of An Interplanetary Naturalist - The Sarlacc

jtotheizzoe:

image

C-3PO: “You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful sarlacc.”

C-3PO: “In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.”

It was twenty years ago that I came into possession of that protocol droid. I was its fourteenth owner, although it would not disclose any information on the thirteen previous ones. By the time it entered my possession its body’s brass plating was almost as thin and timid as its AI. For the first year after I purchased this tarnished, golden droid from the district auction, this memory recall occurred without warning, at first daily, then weekly, then, for some reason, scarcely at all.

Owing to this unpredictable glitch, I was never able to make use of the C-3PO unit as a translator or a cultural mediator, not that I ever really needed it considering the advancement of modern neural AI embeds. But C-3PO’s terror, its obsession stuck with me.

It’s a fool’s errand to project free will or desire upon even the most sentient of droids, but there was something about this recall, its intensity, its pain… its fear, so unlike anything I had ever heard uttered in digital voice, that called like a Siren to my curiosity. Never could I have imagined how a droid so distressed would guide my journeys.

What did it mean? What is the “sarlacc” this droid spoke of?

Historic records from the time of the Galactic Rebellion are sadly incomplete thanks to the Great Cyberwar, but even a child would turn rapt at the mention of the legendary Han Solo, and from that very first mention I knew I must uncover more.

What I, an interplanetary naturalist, have observed in my lifetime of exploration and study, may top the list of “horrible ways to die in the known universe”, this thousand-year psychotorture, this eon of agony. I present here my natural observations of the sarlacc.

Read More

317 notes

andrewbreitel:

drcerealmonster:

radock:

small obama chases a much larger version of himself

I guess you can say he was RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

literally fuck off

andrewbreitel:

drcerealmonster:

radock:

small obama chases a much larger version of himself

I guess you can say he was RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

literally fuck off

224,949 notes

jtotheizzoe:

If you’re curious why I just posted an article about the biology of the sarlacc that lives in the pit of Carkoon on Tatooine, written from the perspective of an interplanetary naturalist based on Earth… trust me, there’s a good reason.

Today, I’m taking part in a blog carnival all about the…

165 notes